Can of Worms

This is not a recipe – LOL ;p

The blog this morning Listen to and Trust Your Body has brought up more for me to share and I welcome your input – this is a broad topic and something I feel is not discussed in any diet book, exercise plan or wellness strategy known to me. And thank you Eunice Minford for your inspiration.

Rewards

One of my work colleagues is on a gym/diet regime. She came into work one morning on wobbly legs after a tough session with her personal trainer and felt exhausted. A few minutes later, she came back to her desk with a ham and cheese toasty saying that it was her reward for the hammering she received from the trainer that morning. Does one simply cancel out the other?

I’ve realised there’s a pattern or excuses in how I/we eat:

  1. I’ve had a really full-on day at work so am going to have a few drinks/eat this chocolate/have ice-cream for dinner.
  2. It’s been a crazy morning and its Friday – let’s have donuts/cake/biscuits!
  3. My family/friends are in town and I haven’t seen them for such a long time so it’s only once in a while and I miss the apple pie/cheesy pasta bake/home brew/pizza we always have together.
  4. I’m exhausted and worked really hard today and don’t have time to cook so will just get take-away tonight/for lunch.
  5. Toast/cereal/crisps are quick and I have had great meals this week so I’ll splurge.
  6. I’m out with everyone enjoying myself so I’ll have a few extra drinks/bar snacks/hot chips because I want to hang out and we’re all having so much fun to stop and eat properly.
  7. I’ve only had two meals today so tomorrow I can have the extra prawns/omelet/nuts and that’s OK.
  8. For the last four weeks I’ve been on a detox and it’s finishing tomorrow so I’m going out for a big slap up meal to celebrate!

I could go on … but you get the picture?

Contrary to popular belief, we are not here to indulge in everything that comes our way. As Serge Benhayon once said, “a lion doesn’t eat more than it needs – why do we?” The lion doesn’t hunt down another zebra because it had a hard day; they only eat when they need to – why do we, a supposedly superior species, choose to gorge ourselves?

I feel it’s like the pattern we see in people who have been ill for a long time, for example, whose only desire when their treatment is finished to “go back to the life I had before” – but isn’t it that life that caused the ill in the first place? Why do we continue to create ill patterns of behaviour that continue to feed back to us the disregard we are treating the body with in the first place?

And even with moderate exercise and eating well and feeling fantastic – Why do we choose to not to feel the power of clarity in my body all the time? Why is there a part of me that feels the need to reward this ‘good’ behaviour and not simply honour our true way of being and celebrate it?

Is it not enough that we feel amazing and simply want to build that yummy amazingness in our bodies? Is that not reward enough?

Why do I continue to hold myself from my true expression by ‘rewarding’ my behaviour with food that doesn’t build more love? In truth, it holds me from expressing more love and keeps me in a temporal/physical spin away from my true nature.

Questions, questions! Can of worms …

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23 thoughts on “Can of Worms

  1. Oh how I laughed out loud Sarah…”The lion doesn’t hunt down another zebra because it had a hard day”
    Still laughing… thank you.

    Even though this has caught my attention big time, it by no means diminishes the very sound pieces which you wrote.

    Just can’t get the picture our of my head of a lion after a hard day at work and contemplating going after a zebra…:))))))))))))))

    this a serious laughter now – AWESOME!

    thank you gorgeous xx

  2. Sarah, I am crying now – that’s what the laughter has turned into – tears! I had another look at the article and re-read Can of worms – not a recipe – ha ha ha
    Where is the disclaimer: Do not try this at home!
    I am getting very silly now with all different ideas going around my head re; can of worms…
    Just stop being funny and i won’t get silly ;))))))

    lots of love and thank you for this morning’s beautiful moments xx

  3. thank you Sarah! All so true and I know it to be so for me. Crazy stuff! And definitely one to watch this weekend when I have a friend visiting from England and no -end of above excuses for indulging!!

  4. Thank you!
    Your blogs are really helping me to connect to and observe my own relationship with food.
    I have never really been a binge eater and have pretty much been a consistent weight all of my adult life.I eat healthily and don’t need to exercise excessively to keep my weight down. These factors have fostered in me an arrogance around food and diet. That certain attitudes and habits around food don’t apply to me.
    i have begun to feel that this arrogance and my ideals and beliefs around “healthy eating” have produced a hardness in my body and so numbed me from feeling what is going on for me.
    Recently i have observed how i reach for sugary and sweet foods as soon as an uncomfortable feeling arises. Whether it be sadness,frustration, anger etc. From someone who had the arrogance to think that they didn’t use food for comfort, this has been a huge realisation – and this I’m sure is only the tip of the iceberg!

    Thank you for being an amazing reflector!

    with love

    Anne-Marie

    1. Two things Anne-Marie – one, your gratitude for the reflection that Sarah’s blog is offering is felt strongly in your writing, which felt lovely and I wanted you to know this. And two, your post made me stop and think as well: aha, might I too have that arrogance? – the healthy food eater for ages – but if I get more honest I realise that even few hundred grams of fresh cherries especially eaten in one go 😉 are telling me something about how I feel. It is when I get too tired that this happens, but now you and Sarah inspired me to observe ‘comfort eating’ even closer – ‘like a hawk’ – to use Sarah’s expression from banana pancake recipe (she has made me laugh so much today that I cannot keep my lips together – no kiddin’). So thank you too.
      It shows that these blogs are truly amazing opportunities for us to keep unfolding and evolving through simple sharing and reflection if we but chose to. I do. Much obliged :))

      1. Thank you Dragana. These Blogs are amazing!An amazing opportunity as you say for reflection,nomination and healing.I’m really enjoying the beginnings of my unfolding and loving the fun and honesty that all of the blogs bring 🙂

    2. That is exactly what I feel is helping me so much at the moment, the honesty and fun that comes with sharing. It’s feels good to lighten up about it, as I can get very serious and hard with myself sometimes, and of course that defeats the whole aim!! To laugh at my fumbling and stumbling is a wash a fresh air, and in fact I feel a beauty in the clumsiness.. as it’s actually just being real for where I’m at with no judgement, like a gentle smile toward a baby that’s learning to walk.
      Thank you, all of you beautiful woman, how wonderful it feels to share and feel connected to you all.. ‘)

  5. Your two recent posts have been so relevant to me right now. Why oh why must I continue to numb myself. Over the past two years I have given up alcohol, gluten and dairy so I’m being ‘good now’ right? well not really if I am really honest with myself. I can see I am still using food to numb myself when things get a bit hard. Sugar is a tough one, something I crave when I don’t want to feel. And yes at times I over eat. After reading and pondering on your previous post today I was able to begin nominating what has been really going on for me and just being really honest about it all. So thank you for your very timely posting that has initiated another healing cycle in me. It’s so great this “can of worms” has been opened!

    Much love

    Kate

    1. Yes, so true for me to Kate. Thank you to Sarah for opening the can, oh and the worms!! The extra special treat I seem to really not be able to give up, is that comfort food in front of the tv! Double case of escape.
      Coffee is a real hook for me too, when I try to stop it, I realise how much I have identified with the person I become when I drink that coffee… I feel more “together”, more “intelligent”, more “able”… but do I really?Is this really true?..No. It’s quite scary really, when I don’t have that cup on some days, I feel like I’m falling apart!
      I want to stop, why do I ignore myself when I say NO!!!! Maybe that “no” is too hard, actually that’s probably exactly it. When in those moments, it can feel so difficult to be gentle, the cynic has her way with me a lot of the time. Gosh, I feel to delete this.

      ?

      1. I feel it’s so honest and loving for everyone to see the truth of your struggle – but please let me know if you would like me to delete it – up to you! With love, Sarah

      2. You can post it, thank you, I was worried that I was spilling my mess! But I guess that is what this kind of blog and support is all about, that helpful loving hand I wish to hold onto through this process of unfolding. Thank you Sarah, I so appreciate what you have here for us. with love, Sarah

      3. You can post it, thank you, I was worried that I was spilling my mess! But I guess that is what this kind of blog and support is all aout, that helpful loving hand I wish to hold onto through this process of unfolding.
        Thank you Sarah, I so appreciate what you have here for us.
        with love,
        Sarah

      4. Thank you Sarah – yes, our sharing and this space is for us all to express honestly about ourselves and your loving yourself in honesty is a helpful loving hand for us all equally. with love, Sarah

  6. How marvelous to have this pop into my inbox this this morning! Thank you all of you and especially Sarah for beginning it. It has brought me to the startling realization that I have become a bit (read a lot) rigid with my food and too comfortable with some of my concoctions which have been beginning to feel very UNcomfortable in my body, and also a stuckness with how to change, where to go now etc. Also, thank you Anne-Marie, for your expose which revealed in me a bit of piousness which I feel = arrogance around my attitudes etc to food. Ugh… embarrassing but true. How great though, something to work with.
    with love
    Jeanette

  7. Aren’t we humans amazing…..I have had an awful/hard/tiring/successful week..I will reward myself with ………(fill in with food of choice). And then we feel guilty and punish ourselves for the indulgence with insane exercise (or as I see everyday, insane toothbrushing). It is a never ending cycle of crazy accounting were the yuck on one side of the ledger never balances the rewards on the other….and the poor body just keeps on going…..
    Thank you Sarah,

    With love,

    Rachel

    1. Thanks also for your comments here Rachel. I particularly appreciate two points.

      One – the excessive brushing which I know I’ve done – scrubbing oneself clean from all the ‘bad’ choices one may have made, and not limited to food.

      Second – – this analogy of unbalanced accounting – its gold! What a hopeless cause to be trapped in thinking we can justify our choices by ‘being good’, being ‘better’ or making up for ‘wrongdoing’ – all the while our body continue to cop it. Can anyone else feel the abject disregard for oneself and one’s true health in that?!

  8. To fill the insatiable hole of our unmet needs. Or the parts of ourselves we don’t wish to feel. Living from the outside in, rather than the inside out. If we live from the inside out, or soul-fully we feel and respond in a loving way. We listen, we do not block, numb ourselves with food. Food can either act as medicine or cement to the body. With Love, Katie

  9. Yes indeed, this is a trial – and indeed the reason why I removed sweet food entirely from my diet for some time. However this was not a balanced approach and certainly did not deal with the emotions of wanting to reward/pat myself on the back with food. I actually feel that if there is that desire, then we’ve attached somewhere along the line. Then whatever we do isn’t strictly clear and hence the need to nominate what we got sucked into, and why…

  10. The playfulness you bring in your writing Sarah is truly beautiful. Especially that it is around food and diet. It is one area where it is very easy for us to get too serious about, or too strict, and one area that we can easily use as an excuse to beat up on ourselves which always ends up in disaster. One thing i have observed with my own diet is that it doesn’t matter how much you know about food and nutrition, what is good for you or not, or what is supportive – underlying this is our intention, our commitment and our responsibility towards ourselves – to want to be truly loving and supportive of our bodies, and if this wavers, so to does the integrity of the food we find ourselves choosing. After many years of putting so much pressure on myself with food, i am now learning to let go. To have more understanding and compassion for myself when i find myself craving a little sweetness and to continue to work with the honesty of why? I have learned that it is more harmful trying to deny what is really going on – it becomes a battle – a fight within yourself and there is no honesty or acceptance in that – therefore there can be no healing.
    Thankyou for this blog – I really enjoy it!

  11. You’re talking about me aren’t you!
    I am so there with you in this, what feels like an inner war sometimes..
    We/I have been so groomed for the reward lifestyle, I suppose it starts from when you’re little and if you do x you’ll get a sweet or maybe an hour later to bed, always something in disregard to your true well being. And of course, my eternal wish is to have someone next to me, holding my hand and saying.. “we’re not going do that, that wouldn’t make you feel good would it? let’s rather do something to honour our beautiful inner selves..” That reassurance and support (and I suppose validation) to trust what you know your body is saying, and what you are in truth really asking for.
    Why do we/I have to make it so difficult for ourselves, really makes no sense at all!!

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